Grab the Wheel and Point it West

Where have I been?

Here. In Smalltown, USA. Two babies, a house, a husband, a little dog and my own business.

Same town I grew up in with the same people I grew up with. This little comfortable bubble that has cocooned me from chasing my dreams and lulled me into a sedated lethargy for three years. It took a full year for me to even notice I am not writing. I take that back, I was writing the newsletter for the Crivitz Area Woman’s Club which has a readership of around forty. Around here, that’s kind of a big deal.

But, I think my Fairy Godmother woke me up a couple months ago with a wakeup call. Why am I not writing? What am I waiting for? Why don’t I even FEEL like writing? What the hell is happening to me?

So, that night I woke up and hopped online and started applying for dream writing jobs. And based on my blog and award-winning personality (I kid) I landed an interview at Amazon for a humor writer position. Yes, THAT Amazon. As in, fly me halfway across the country and present to a board. Suddenly I was awake. Colors returned. I was so motivated to win these big wigs over that I forgot that it haven’t written so much as a Christmas card in the past twelve months.


I went. I sat like Ellie Mae Clampett in the waiting room watching hipster after hipster enter into Amazon HQ. I was alive. I was dreaming. I knew I could never go back to what used to be.

While I didn’t get the position due to the fact that I have been off the writing grid for a while, I am now a changed woman. Being in Seattle, I knew the West Coast was for me. So, I got a job in Portland and in two days I drive me, my husband, two kids, dog, two cats and a UHaul halfway across the USA.

This fire burning in my heart is a welcomed friend I haven’t seen in a long time. I can’t wait to see what we accomplish together.

More Trip And Less Fantastic

Sorry, it’s been some time since I’ve blogged. I just got a new apartment (closet) so….OK that’s not actually a real excuse considering the two weeks before my lease I sat in bed watching Netflix movies all day. But, let’s just say I’ve been uninspired.

Until I got a new apartment.

It’s a studio in the fabulous city of Green Bay. Now, if you ask (all) of my co-workers, they believe I live in the “hood” and should keep my holster on at all times. I, on the other hand, do not think this part of town is that bad. I live above a bar right now and just last week had to guide a drunk middle-aged man up the stairs so he could sleep at his friend’s house. I’m used to it.

Well, today I met my first neighbor. He’s around 50 years-old…I don’t know his name because I didn’t care…he’s very, very poor…and mentally handicapped. Now, I don’t have too much against men like this one but I do not like to think that all my college degree got me was a room in a halfway house.

After meeting this gentlemen…I sat on my apartment floor trying to figure out how I could fit the necessities in it. I have no counter space for a microwave so that needs to go on top of my fridge (and it will block cupboards and hang off the edge just like home). I have a nice little folding partition between my bedroom and living room and it’s decorated with standard wild oat decals from the 80s.

To go with the vintage farm decor is my white (brown?) tile that also has wisps of wheat on it. That doesn’t bother me too much considering my kitchen floor is so small there’s only four squares of it. The carpeting is that special brown and white fur that I’m pretty sure comforted Elvis’ feet in his Jungle Room.

But the best part, by far, is my stove. Now, I already have a pea-soup-green stove in my current apartment so I’m used to retro cookery…but this one I’m pretty sure was transplanted from a camper that was at Woodstock. And the amazing thing is, it looks like it’s never been used! Almost like there back in style??? OK, I got too optimistic.

All in all, I’m glad. I did this on my own. I got a great deal (even if there is hepatitis A, B and C in the shower). I don’t have to drive an hour. AND I get to carry a concealed weapon to my vehicle…life is good.