Killin’ It

You know those times when you kind of want to choke someone until you see the life flutter from their bodies? No? Well that’s how I feel about my weight right now. I want to slit its throat Dexter-style and drop it at the bottom of the Atlantic.

Why you might ask?

I gained 7 lbs.

No, I didn’t have a breakdown and rob a bakery; no, I didn’t stuff chicken wings down my gullet; I didn’t even use my extra points for the week! It was that fucking flu. The mere fact of me not eating for ONE day send my body into such extreme shock that it won’t let an ounce of any morsel that touches my lips leave my hips. I mean, really, it wasn’t even a full day of not eating. That is how much of a fat kid I am.

However, I am going to (begrudgingly) keep on truckin’ and hope my body finally feels safe enough to let its claws loose on the toast I ate last week.

Good lord, I need therapy.

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