Food Porn

Stop smiling and start bakin’, blondie!

I have noticed that women have a dirty little secret. Something they only share with other girlfriends. Something their husbands would be mortified to learn about. Something they lay awake at night dreaming about.

Food porn.

Now, I’m not talking about American Pie style nastiness. I’m talking about that dirty little page called “Pinterest.” I mean, you should all really be ashamed of yourselves. Page after page of chocolate dripping, burgers sizzling, cream cheese shimmering…and you post and post them. There they sit, right next to your list of workouts and inspirational weight loss quotes. They sit there like a dingy pin-up in a 16 year-old’s locker. Women fantasize about food on a daily basis. I guarantee 90% of the fattening recipes on every woman’s Pinterest page have never been made. But, we just love seeing how one can concoct “Better Than Sex Brownies/Cheesecake/Cookies/Pie.”

Yes, we name things “Better Than Sex.”

I mean really, ladies. How many times have you been sitting there drinking your eighth bottle of water of the day, snacking on a low-fat string cheese for hours wishing it was a funnel cake dipped in milk chocolate, wrapped in bacon and served by Fabio? I betcha a helluva lot more than you’re fantasizing about actual sex.

Have you heard a man say, “This football game is better than sex.” Or, “Let’s go to the better-than-sex bar tonight.” Nope. This is women’s naughty little secret. Women want you to spend $100 on a box of chocolates she can hide in the cupboard above the fridge so she can sneak one or twelve every night when everyone is asleep. No one can know we love food more than life itself. Nobody except our fellow Pinteresters.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s